It’s tricky to know whether to tell your child that she’s gifted or not. There are pros and cons either way.
Homeschooling offers a unique challenge because, unlike traditional schools, children aren’t usually aware how they compare to their peers. This can actually be a positive thing. Gifted children, when left to their own devices, will typically have healthy relationships with their friends, sharing their unique strengths and learning from the strengths of others. They also tend to interact well with kids of all ages.
Telling children that they’re “gifted” can be risky, because it can become a source of ego-identification for them. Meaning, their whole sense of self becomes defined by the “gifted” label. This can go one of two ways. They may actually become more insecure as a result. They may even avoid taking risks or pushing themselves to new levels, because if they fail they might lose their status of being “gifted.” Or, on the other hand, they may treat other children who aren’t labeled as “gifted” with deference or disrespect, which can cause some extensive social problems.
These problems are often in response to, or at least exacerbated by, parents who consistently compare their gifted children to other kids. Everyone grows at a different rate. Just because a child is ahead of the curve at age 5 doesn’t necessarily mean he will be his entire life. A healthy sense of humility, and of celebrating everyone’s strengths, is a much more effective approach. This isn’t to discourage you from being proud of your child and of his accomplishments. Just be cautious, and remember that being too competitive with your child’s academics can lead to problems down the road.
Part of a well-rounded education includes learning how to treat others kindly and with respect. Worrying about labels can needlessly complicate things. Children advance when given the resources and opportunities necessary to pursue their unique passions and interests at their own pace, without the added pressure and expectations that go along with labels.